It really amazes me how many people stood by my side during this whole ordeal. The most support came from the moms at my kids' Catholic school (Our Lady Queen of Apostles in Center Moriches), and the people that work with my talent management company, Cain Casting & Talent Management. We also got a LOT of support from the two departments that my husband works for as a Park Ranger. It was amazing, really. SO many people reached out to me, it was overwhelming. SO many people were there for me, I didn't have to worry about anything.
My biggest support, of course, was my mother. She took care of my kids when I couldn't. She was here for me this entire time. So was my grandmother, who was incredibly worried about my husband. And my neighbors, who brought groceries over and helped with my kids. The list just goes on and on.
What shocked me was the lack of support we received from certain people. One group of individuals - whom we hadn't spoken with in over 3 years - used this as an excuse to gain sympathy from others, as well as cause a lot of drama and grief for me while I was going through this whole situation. Another individual - whom I have known for over two decades - was absent altogether. I noticed that in situations like this, the good people rise to the top and the ones you don't need just float away.
Then there are the others that try to make you sink and drown. However, I'm not going to address those individuals in this blog at all. They know who they are, and they know that they don't fit in my life - or the lives of my husband or children - anymore.
Now, don't get me wrong-- I'm not complaining in the least. But, I am going to give you some advice if you ever find yourself in a situation where someone you know is in a position such as mine: Reach out to that person. It doesn't matter how well you know them-- I had people sending me cards that I didn't even know. I had people coming to the hospital that I had only spoken over the phone with.-- Reach out to that person. You have no idea how much the support is needed.
The excuse of "I didn't know what to say" is utter bullshit. Here are some things that you can drop as a text or FaceBook message that will mean the world to that person:
- Thinking of you.
- You're in my prayers.
- Need anything?
- Hope things are getting better.
- Praying for you.
- xoxo
- <3
You get the idea. Little messages like that got me through my days. Was I overwhelmed? Absolutely. I still am. But the support of others carried me through it all-- Especially the really tough times. I needed people that I didn't know that I needed. I needed support, even though people say I'm one of the strongest, toughest women they know. It was hard for me to ask for help, and the people that were right there to give it to me made things so much easier.
People have said to me how strong I am. I don't think that's true... I'm only as strong as the support that I received from the people that reached out to me. I can't even list everyone, but it really meant the world to me. I have no idea as to how I am going to thank everyone. With the support that I got from my friends, family, acquaintances and strangers, I felt that I could move mountains.
I truly feel that I did.
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